GROWING UP IN KINGS PARK

by

Henrietta Friedberg

 

Growing up in Kings Park, Heaven help us, and Heaven did, was a blessing and a disaster. When our family arrived in the l92Os, Kings Park was a small rural community with a population of about 2,000. My parents came with five school children. The eldest, Murray, was in his teens, next Jake, then myself, a younger brother, Al, and the baby, Ester.

We left New York because papa obtained a position as rabbi for the local synagogue. He was also chaplain at the Kings Park State Hospital for the Mentally Ill. This hospital was the focal point of the town. Much of the business, employment and even entertainment emanated from this hospital. Another reason that papa chose Kings Park was because mamma hated to live in the big city and longed for the country. Now, while papa was an unswerving male chauvinist and was convinced that all decisions rested with the man of the house, he allowed himself to be swayed by mamma’s wishes. After all, since the man was the dominant figure in the home, it behooved him to gallantly defer to the needs of the little woman, the weaker vessel, It also didn’t hurt that mamma was a pretty blonde with lovely blue eyes.

The congregation welcomed the family cordially, but Ester, the baby, with her enormous sky blue eyes, was the star.

Papa could have made a comfortable living in Kings Park. However, when the gossip reached the ears of the president of the synagogue and other such notables that their rabbi considered them all ignoramuses, his income dwindled noticeably. He lost all the perks and gratuities that usually came with the job. It didn’t swell his income, either, when he officiated at functions such as weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, etc., for he had one fee:

"As much as you are able," Do I need to say more? However, you will soon enjoy papa as we all did, despite his old world idealism, his impossible inconsistencies, and scrupulous honesty. Papa was of that school that didn’t believe in written contracts. A handshake was all that was required with honest men. So papa shook hands and papa got the boot. However, we all looked up to papa because he was an ardent scholar. Before going to high school each day, we would collect our textbooks on the swing, where papa usually left them.

Now, about the population of Kings Park: •there was an overwhelming majority of first generation Irish. These were the hardy souls who were courageous enough to leave an impoverished Ireland and seek better opportunities in the new World. The hospital was the magnet. There were always jobs available, even for the unskilled. Hence, the town had no unemployment problems and, it follows, no idlers, drunks nor ne’er-do-wells. These were an industrious people--colorful, high-spirited and imbued with an ever present sense of good humor. They were happy that they had work, and were able to give their children a good life. They lived in comfortable rented houses which were eventually bought by these same people.

The townspeople felt at home in Kings Park because they had migrated from small country villages in the old country and therefore were comfortable in a rural setting.

Kings Park had one main drag--Maine Street, what else. Maine Street was one city block long. It contained all the necessary stores on both sides of the street, besides a restaurant and pharmacy. There was also a dry goods store that sold clothing, shoes, and everything you couldn’t buy elsewhere in town. There was a hotel near the railroad station, a post office, and a small library. We collected our mail at the P.O., as there was no Rural Free Delivery.

The elementary school was situated a mile from town. As there was not enough space for all eight grades, two classes occupied one room at the same time. One was called the "study period" while the other was in session. There was never any serious discipline problem at school. For unruly boys there was the threat of the rubber hose (which was never used, to my knowledge). As for the girls, they were ultra-refined, especially in the lunch room, where they nibbled on dainty Schrafft-like sandwiches, with their pinkies poised properly in the air, "comme il faut". I was always fascinated by the way sandwiches slid noiselessly down their throats without any visible chewing. I don’t know how it happened, but mamma’s hearty pumpernickel sandwiches were soon supplanted by thinly sliced well-bred sandwiches which didn’t require much chewing.

The financial status of the town was such that a legitimate excuse for absence was to say, "My shoes were at the shoemaker." And you didn’t have to bring a note from the shoemaker, either.

In those years, the town did not have a high school, bank, nor--worst of all--a movie house. For these facilities we had to travel to the next town. However, we could proudly boast a real V.I.P. That was State Senator Thompson, with a proper white moustache and goatee. He was a Republican, which was the predominant party in town. On Election Day the Party sent a limousine to convey mamma and papa to the polling booth.

Although we were only 43½ miles from New York City, I suspect that this thumbnail sketch of a New York State rural community was not too dissimilar from any backwoods village in many other states, such as Nebraska, Iowa, Montana, etc., around the turn of the century. Could Kings Park have been typical of rural America in the l920s?

The essential difference between the states would probably have been in the ethnicity of the people, whether it be German, Swedish, Norwegian, or, as in our case, Irish; The Irish appealed to us as an interesting, vibrant people. Unfortunately, there was one serious flaw in their character. Many were fanatically religious and intolerant of other religions. They were especially prejudiced against the Jews, namely, us. It didn’t take us long to find out about this characteristic! The first victim was three year old Ester. She, innocently enough, went to play with the next door neighbor, a child of her own age. The girl looked at Ester scornfully and, with undisguised contempt, spit out, "Rabbi!" With her arms akimbo, Ester shot back, "You Wabbi yoshelf!"

Next on the list was the rabbi, himself. What a beautiful target he made! As he was returning home from the synagogue, a group of mischievous boys would follow him and taunt in a sing-song voice, "Mr. Murphy." Now, I don’t know what’s wrong with the name "Murphy," but it raised papa’s hackles. He responded exactly as the tormentors anticipated. To their huge delight, he would stop in his tracks, and angrily chase them as they gleefully scattered in all directions. Another ploy was to pass the house slowly in a full car and sing out, "Mr. Murphy."

And now the third on the list. That turned out to be complete disaster, but not for us. The Irish boys made a mistake when they tackled our two boys--the family warriors, our own Maccabees. There were constant fist fights between them and the enemy. I have to admit that the Irish lads fought clean and fair. The onlookers would form a circle around the two combatants, no-one interfering, even when our side was winning. I remember one of the adults exclaiming, "Look at that little one [Foxy] fight!" Finally papa got tired of the boys coming home with tattered shirts and bruised faces. He complained to the priest and asked him to stop John Cassidy from picking on the boys. "What are you complaining about?" responded the priest. "In the last fight with your son Jake, Johnny landed in the hospital." However, that visit turned out to be our salvation. The Irish boys and our family were at long last at peace, and we even won their admiration. Naturally, when we were no longer newcomers, the hostilities simmered down and we became "their Jews." Jake was even nominated for the town council when he became a fledgling lawyer. He lost a vote when our friend, Mr. Donovan, apologized that he would like to vote for "Chakie Friedberg," but that "he couldn’t vote against his religion." Later, when we sold the farm which we had bought, and the acreage was carved up into streets, the town wanted to name one of the streets "Friedberg Street," but papa said that was a "no, no" in the Bible, and refused.

Now, you heard me say "our farm." How did we manage to buy a farm? Certainly not on papa’s salary, since he had lost all of the extras, in heaven’s name. Well, that’s where we got it, from heaven. It happened this way. One day my Oldest sister, who was spending the summer with us, took a pail and went into the woods to pick huckleberries. In no time at all she returned exultant, with a full pail of beautiful berries. The next day two of us went picking and brought back two pails full to the brim. The woods were covered with berries! It was raining huckleberries. It seemed as if the heavens opened up and poured forth huckleberries, huckleberries, and more huckleberries. Soon the whole family, including mamma, emerged from the house at dawn and, like a horde of hungry locusts, attacked those luscious berries. Even baby Ester was put to work, sorting out the green berries from the ripe ones. Mamma packed a picnic lunch and out we trooped to the woods with pails, a large boiler, and a huge washtub. We chatted away; we picnicked; we sang. One song was particularly popular with the boys. I had made the mistake of saying, innocently, that to my knowledge, I hadn’t told a lie since I was eight years old. That was all the boys had to hear. From that emerged a song, "Oh, she hasn’t told a lie since she’s eight years old."

There was a very good market for berries that year and we soon earned enough for a stake to buy the farm.

What farm? On the outskirts of town, situated on the Fort Salonga Road, was a beautiful farm and, heaven be praised, there was a sign on the front lawn in bold, beckoning print, "For Sale." Now papa had had an eye on that farm for a long tine. He was imbued with the dream of one day becoming a successful Jewish farmer like in days of old in Biblical times. And now at last papa’s dream could be realized. What did it matter that the real farmer was mamma. There was nothing that mamma couldn’t raise. Outside of a brood of children, she raised chickens, ducks, geese, and even turkeys--a difficult feat for an amateur farmer.

But don’t think for one moment that papa wasn’t allotted his tasks. His role was to provide for the livestock, namely, horses and dogs. He was constantly bringing home a new horse or dog.

The first horse he brought home was a thoroughbred, a retired race horse. Did you ever try to hitch a race horse to a plow? He almost wrecked the farm. He bolted out of the gate and flew down the road in a mad frenzy. We never saw him again. It was his last race and he won.

The second horse was a solid domestic nag--a plug--sway back and all. He had one interesting feature. He was very gaseous! While he was standing in the barn he was O.K., but just hitch him to a wagon! At the command, "Giddap," the music instantly peeled forth. And with what musicianship! A precise 4/4 rhythm in exact cadence with his trotting.

Now the dogs. Since we had accumulated so much livestock on the farm, we needed a watchdog. That was papa’s responsibility. So papa regularly came home with different specimens. They made affectionate pets, but watchdogs? They were even afraid of us. We soon became experienced animal trainers. I remember one black and tan who would scramble to safety the minute anyone drew near. I undertook to tame him. I would throw a hunk of juicy meat in his direction, and, without even looking at him, I would nonchalantly walk away. In no time at all he was eating out of my hand. Brother Jake, who wanted a dog of his own, couldn’t understand this phenomenon. He didn’t, know it, but this was the first time he had encountered the feminine mystique.

Next came "Spotty." He was a Dalmatian. Spotty was a watchdog alright, and a good one, but he watched only mamma. If mamma was resting in an armchair, Spotty would lie quietly at her feet. But if papa so much as approached in her direction, he would bare his teeth and growl menacingly. Papa ceased to approach when Spotty was around, and soon Spotty wasn’t around.

Finally, papa triumphantly came home with a Boston Bull Terrier. He was the real thing, a mean, ugly looking specimen. One look at him and a marauder would be miles away immediately. If a neighbor visited, we had to hold onto Bobby, or else no more visitors. What nobody knew was that fierce looking Bobby was a fraud. Actually he wouldn’t hurt a fly. We fixed that. As Jake said, "If papa brought home a lion, we would all be riding on his back in one week. However, Bobby had a low, rumbling growl, and that snarl of his earned him a redoubtable reputation far and wide. The chickens were safe and so were the cows.

Incidentally, don’t let me ignore the cows, Did you know that, contrary to popular belief, cows can be quite sensitive animals? If you placed a garland of flowers around Bossi’s• neck, she would delicately prance forth and act the dignified dowager. The rest of the herd would follow her submissively.

We also had a cow who was too modest to allow a male to milk her. What to do when mamma was away? Solution: One of the boys donned a dress and, sure enough, Madame graciously permitted him to do the honors.

As I mentioned before, we were eventually accepted by the community, and even with affection. When mamma returned from wintering in Florida, the neighbors greeted her with flowers. When sister Ann needed a ride to the station, Mr. Donovan insisted on driving her in his "one horse shay." Also, we certainly gained real status and the town’s wholehearted acceptance when the new priest, a liberal man, came to the farm for mamma’s delicious heavy sweet cream.

I often look back nostalgically to my childhood in Kings Park. Some day I would love to saunter along one of the streets, especially one named "Friedberg St." And I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the houses was inhabited by a family named "Murphy."

To this day, I have a soft spot in my heart for the Irish. After all, they were my "Luntsmen," or, as they say in all languages, "my hometown people."

Ó Henrietta Friedberg

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